I want to break free!

Freedom. Something we are all longing for, yet always sacrifising it for other goods and what is considered a better quality of life. It is hard to even define it, but if we take it as doing what you want exactly when you want, then few or perhaps no people even have it. I've just started reading a book by Tomo Križnar, a Slovene traveller, where he decides to leave his three years old son and his partner to go and travel around the world by bike, leaving everything behind. Brave he for sure is, and perhaps also selfish – putting himself before his family, especially his son. Yet, he is not scared to find his freedom. I don't think I could ever do that  - as much as I would love to explore the world in that way, I would be just too scared of travelling alone so far away and for such a long time, with almost no money, relying mostly to find good people to host me.

I find my freedom in a different way though, in nature. When I walk over hills and mountains, away from most of the people, with a beautiful view on my country, that’s when I feel free, without any boundaries, I could be walking forever, roaming around, nothing really stopping me.  The feeling even increases if I go for multiple days, with a heavy and bothering heavy rucksack on my back, in which I carry everything I need to survive. Seeing how few things we actually need and simply carrying them with you also has a freeing effect, as it makes you realise how mobile we actually are and how most of our needs are really just in our heads. Very special to me are all the nights I have spent sleeping outside, both in a tent but even more so directly under the stars and next to a bonfire. Although often uncomfortable and cold, I don’t think there is anything nicer than falling asleep under such beauty as the sky full of stars is. Feeling free ultimately makes me feel so happy.

I sometimes feel caught when I am stranded at home, either in Slovenia or in England, unable to just run away and get lost in the wild. All the work that has to be done, the four walls, the requirements of the society just limit me and my inner wildness. Do I really belong into this cage that the human society has created for all of us? I don’t know, but in any case I will stay here as I’m not crazy enough to throw all the hard work I’ve put into being successful in this world away, and there are also things I want to do and change here, as well as many commodities of the civilisation. For example, after spending a few days outside, even if swimming in the rivers or lakes, I become extremely grateful of these two wonderful thing called a shower and soap that we have. They’re simply priceless!

It’s funny how everyone seems to be working so hard just to get a well-paid job, with enough money to be able to afford anything they want. Most of my happiest memories and best moments of my life were completely free or extremely cheap. For example, I used to volunteer and participate at a summer camp for children from socially vulnerable families – many of them were in foster care. We all lived in bare minimum there, sleeping outside on wooden floor with a plastic ceiling but no walls, no showers but a river for a week, no electricity, no phone signal (which wouldn’t even be useful as all the phones died after two days) and a single toilet so bad that we were told to use as rarely as possible. To most people such a camp would sound awful, almost as if you went to some third world country. Yet, the children loved it so much and went there year after year, and so did I, although I come from a much better environment from them. It was because of the bonds that were created there, friends that were made, active time spent together all the time, guitar music around a bonfire, children helping with all the activities, such as cooking. I must say, a shower and a decent toilet would be nice at that campsite, but everything else would be completely excessive, we don’t need it at all, and probably the lack of those two made everything even more special.

Is it the money that is enslaving people? Making them work really hard to achieve some dreams of a better life and more freedom they will have, when they never really reach it and lose themselves and their freedom in the process of chasing it. I understand that the lack of money can be equally enslaving – having to look at every penny, not being able to afford much, making sacrifices all the time. But after you have enough money to survive decently, does one really need more to be able to buy really expensive things or go to holidays really far every year, when they haven’t even explored all the beautiful places right around the corner? In my opinion, happiness and especially the feeling of freedom are not closely correlated with one’s financial situation.

Perhaps, then, we should stop working so hard to chase the dream of freedom and happiness we have in our minds, and explore and find both with what we've already got.